Felix's Subtext

Felix:(pushing the spaghetti away)All right, how much longer is this gonna go on?
-Ugh how much longer is this buffoon gonna keep treating me like this!?!
Felix: That’s right, I am talking to you.
- Is anyone else in the room???
Felix: I want to know if you are going to spend the rest of your life not talking to me.
-How long are you going to ignore me???
Because if you are, I am going to buy a radio. (no reply)
-Alright if this goes on then you cn forget about talking to me
Well? ( no reply) I see.
-So??? What're you gonna do???
You are not going to talk to me. (no reply) All right. Two can play at this game. (Pause)
-Ok then, see how you like it when I ignore you!
If you are not going to talk to me, I am not going to talk to you.(no reply) I can act childish too, you know. (no reply) I can go on without talking just as long as you can.
-See see I can do it too!!!
Felix: Are you talking to me?
I'm sorry.... But i'm ignoring you...
Felix: (stares at him) I stand warned. Over and out!
-Oooh so scary!!!!
Felix: I don’t think I gather the entire meaning of that remark.
- What're you trying to say?
Felix: (picks up the key and moves to the couch) I think you are serious. I think you are really serious. Are you serious?
-He's just acting.... Right???
Felix: Yeah, you are serious. Well, let me remind you that I pay half the rent and I’ll go into any room I want. (He gets up angrily and starts towards the hallway)
-Oh DAMN! Ok well I pay part of it too so you jolly well have to deal with me staying here!!!
Felix: I am going to walk around your bedroom.
I pay half the rent so I can do as much as you can
Felix: (Steaming) Don’t tell me where to go. I pay a hundred and twenty dollars a month.
-Who the HELL does HE think he is!!!
Felix: All right. ( He takes some bills out of his pocket and slams them down on the table ) There you are. I am paid up for today. Now I am going to walk in your bedroom. ( He starts to storm off)
-Think i'm poor!?! Trying to get rid of me huh???
Felix: (Blocking away, keeping the table between them) Watch yourself! Just watch yourself , Oscar!
-I swear to god you touch me and i'll scream!!!
Felix: HA! Ha, Ha!
- HAHAHAHAHA The stupidity!!!
Oscar: What the hell is so funny?
-How the hell he dare laugh and mock at me? And whats so hilarious?
Felix: Its not spaghetti. Its Linguini! ( Oscar picks up the plate of Linguini, crosses to the hallway and hurls it into the kitchen.
-Even a hobbo with a sandwich would know that!!!
Felix:(Looks at Oscar unbelievingly: what an insane thing to do) You are crazy! I am a neurotic nut, but you are crazy!
-Who throws food!!! What a neanderthal!!!
Felix: ( Goes to the kitchen door and looks in at the mess. Turns back to Oscar.) I am not cleaning that up.
-I refuse to do what that pig wants me to do!
Felix: Did you hear what I said? I am not cleaning it up.
-Oh god...... I hope I can hold out....
Its your mess. ( looking into the kitchen again) Look at it. Hanging all over the walls.
- I think i'm gonna puke....
Felix: (Fumes) You’d just let it lie there, wouldn’t you? Until it turns hard and brown and …Yich, its disgusting. I am cleaning it up. ( he goes into the kitchen. Oscar chases after him. There is sound of a struggle and falling pots.)
-I can't take it anymore!!!
Felix:(Dashes out of the kitchen with Oscar in pursuit. He stops and tries to calm Oscar down) Oscar, I’d like you to take a couple of Phenobarbital.
-Maybe then he'd die....
Felix: All right, let’s everybody just settle down, heh? (he puts his hand on Oscar’s shoulder to calm him but Oscar pulls away violently from his touch)
-Alright alright let's talk like civilised men now shall we....
Felix: (sits at the table with a great pretense of calm) All right, Oscar ,I’d like to know what’s happened?
-Ok whats wrong says Felix the shrink
Felix: (hurriedly slides over to the next chair) That’s right. Something must have caused you to go off the deep end like this. What is it? Something I said? Something I did? Heh? What?
-My friend what have i done to offend you?
Felix: I see. Well, that’s plain enough.
-I'm hurt... Or am I....
Felix: What is it? The cooking ? The cleaning ? The crying?
- What is it that i've done to make you feel this way???
Felix: I get the picture.
-I get it....